You probably came here for two reasons.
1. To look at the lingerie I am wearing and to find the link to purchase it, so you too can basque in never ending body confidence.
2. You came here with a drop of curiosity. As you look through my photos, you hold a mental mirror up to yourself, and wonder how I do it, and why you haven’t been able to. As you scroll down, you start to wonder how I put my size 16 body into a gorgeous piece of lingerie without collapsing under the weight of the world’s often unwelcome opinion.
Most likely you came here for point number two. How do I know that? Well because sometimes I come here for that reason too.
Lets put it this way. It took me almost 27 years and 6 months to gather up the courage to do what I did in those pictures. I am super confident, or so I remind myself every morning. But it has always felt that my confidence has been conditional. For months it felt like a song and dance, with my thoughts doing a two step between… “I am confident enough to do this, but not yet confident to do that.”
So I took a pledge. And I gave myself three rules. Lets call them the 3 C’s of self love.
#1 Find Comfort in your present
Your body is less of a canvas, and more of a sculpture. As women, we treat our bodies like a blank canvas, primed and ready for anyone to come and help us paint an unfamiliar idea of what we should look like. See, I learned to treat my body more like a sculpture. Hand crafted perfection, perfection that transcends to beauty if you learn to look at it the right way.
#2 Control the thoughts you hear
Living a life of confidence is easy. We can fake it till we make it. Hold your belly in for the Instagram photo, or squeeze ourselves into the tiniest of clothes, just as social proof that we have an inch of the confidence that we choose to believe. But my dear, the real test comes when you are alone in your thoughts. What do you think of yourself, what do you say to yourself when you ask yourself how you feel in your self? That is the true test of your confidence.
And the more you learn to say beautiful things to yourself when no one can hear, the more beautiful you will feel about yourself, when no one can see.
#3 Confidence starts inside
I recently looked up the origin of the word confidence. It comes from the Latin word “confidere” which means to have full trust. See we have always seen confidence as a point of view or a statement we make about ourselves to others. But when you think through the origin of the word, it starts to make perfect sense why they always say “Confidence starts from within”. How you feel about self begins with the trust you place in the occurrence of your own beauty. But remember that to trust means to never question, or search for fault. So inevitably to have full confidence means to never ask why you look the way you do, or ask how others may perceive your best version of you.
My love. It didn’t take too much for me to take these pictures. It simply took a deep level of trust in my sense of self. A deep trust that society once took away, but a deeper sense of trust that I cultivated by believing that the woman who I saw in the mirror was as beautiful as the thoughts I thought when I was alone. That the stretch marks and the round tummy were nestled around the comfort I had in myself. That the woman in the mirror had full trust that she was perfectly created the way she was meant to be.
A great part of trust as a woman, is trusting that there are brands that believe in giving you the confidence to be your best self everyday. Thanks to brands like U by Kotex, I can continue to wear sexy pieces like this EVERY single day of the year, even those fun old period days that we like to imagine never really happen…until they do. (sorry boys, you can exit out of the post now).
I recently took the period confidence challenge and went to sleep in my favorite lingerie piece. This was a great departure from my period uniform of sweatpants and oversized sweaters. But thankfully the new 3D capture core technology, extra absorbent zones and the night defense of the U by Kotex Security UT long pads helped keep me confident at night. Lets just say I was able to use the same piece for this shoot the next day :)
If you would like to try this for yourself and take the period confidence challenge with me, you can get a free sample sent directly to you by clicking HERE.
Thank you to Stylewatch and U by Kotex for collaborating on this post with me.
Body Positive fashion and lifestyle blogger.