The most embarrassing thing to admit is being stood up on a date.
The most embarrassing thing to admit is that you were stood up on a date when your date actually arrived, but never showed up... Doesn't make sense? okay...check this.
Just like any other girl, I started to count down the days to the date. This was the first time we were going to meet, and I was nervous but somewhat curious. We met online, Tinder of course, and he seemed interesting. We had spent long days talking about my obsession with documentaries, and my favorite travel spots. He even had the somewhat cool idea of having dinner at the Hyatt. (cliche, but I mean okay)
As I always do, I picked out my outfit long before the day. And by pick out I mean I ordered it online, and paid express shipping just to make sure it got here in time. That evening, I left work fifteen minutes early to make it home in time to curl my hair and put on makeup that I hoped would appear natural. I even paid for a cab to the restaurant even though I could have easily walked. I arrived early and sat at a table, sending him a message to let him know where I was.
My last message said, "I am wearing pink". His last message said "see you soon pink lady"
Forty five minutes later, he unmatched me on Tinder.
See, I could make a long list of reasons why he never showed up. Was it the fact that I was a plus sized woman? Was it that I was a black woman? Was it that I appeared different than what he had imagined?
But see... what he did not realize was that I actually saw him walk in. Yes he appeared in a navy blue sports jacket, his hair combed back in that slick gel-like manner. He walked in and he saw the lady in pink, but rather than walk towards her...he went to the bar and had a drink. In between sips of his boring looking scotch, or maybe whiskey...he stole glances towards me almost like a spy. Oh trust me, I saw him.
But this is not a post about the challenges of dating in a world where your worth is held up against manufactured beauty. No no... this is a post about a pink dress.
Because the challenge is that as women, we are the first to question our self worth once another doesn't have the confidence to see beyond what is before him. After that night, I could have sworn off dating, I could have sworn off men. I could have decided that I would never be the same again. Nope. I loved that pink dress, and I decided to rock it the next day for my shoot because my curves worked the hell out of that dress.
Here is the thing about confidence. To have confidence in yourself is the easy part. To have confidence in yourself in the context of someone else's view of you is the hardest, but most fulfilling part.
Photos by Ethan Alexander
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Body Positive fashion and lifestyle blogger.