Confidence Lesson #1 - Seeking Opinions
How do I look?
What do you think of this outfit?
Should I wear this?
As women, we naturally tend to seek the opinions of others when it comes to all aspects of our appearance. How many times haves you thought of switching up your look, your hair, your shoes etc, and sent an image to your girls first? Honestly, there is nothing wrong with seeking the assurance from your girlfriends, or boyfriends...BUT there are important things to think about before you do so.
1. How do you feel in the outfit - Chances are that if you walked into a store, or saw it online, and it caught your attention, you already like it. This is where we fail the most, we tend to choose something we like and then change our minds based on how someone else feels.
2. Do you and the person you are sending the image to have the same sense of style? - This is a very very important factor to take in. When you receive a photo from a friend of a piece of clothing, you naturally imagine yourself in it and base your opinion entirely off of that. The problem is that If you do not personally like the outfit, then you will project that opinion onto the person seeking your opinion.
3. Who are you dressing up for? - In our social media world, we often tend to dress up based of what types of photos we want to land on our friend's, boyfriend's, and boyfriends ex-girlfriend's timeline. This is the biggest trap of social pressure, and will cause you to dress in ways that you are uncomfortable in, trust me it shows. The answer should be that you are dressing up for yourself - to be able to feel sexy, or feel good, or to go out and have fun.
I tend to not give advice on things that I have not experienced in my personal life, or seen first hand. Remember that your confidence has to be based on your own ability to find the beauty in yourself, and rely on only your own opinion.
If you are only confident because someone told you that you look great, honey, that is not self -confidence. Here are three things I do to help combat these issues.
1. I remind myself that if my eye caught the outfit, then my gut is already telling me that I like it.
2. I only ask opinions if I am trying to choose between two or more looks that I already know I like.
3. If I am going out, I will only send photos when I am dressed up and have probably left the house already :-)
4. The most important thing I ask myself is how I feel in the outfit. Do I feel comfortable? Can I breathe? Will I still want this on after 5 hours? Does it truly represent who I am? If so...then no one else's opinion should matter.